The Best Ways to Connect with Someone on a Dating App

To find meaningful connections and future partners, dating apps have become a go-to tool for many. With just a swipe or a tap, you can connect with someone new, sparking the potential for romance, friendship, or at least a fun story to tell your friends. But with so many people using these platforms, standing out and making a genuine connection can be a bit tricky.

If you've ever wondered how to go beyond the usual "Hey, how's it going?" and actually make a memorable impression, this is the post for you. We’ll explore the best strategies to connect with someone on a dating app, ensuring that your messages don’t just get lost in the void.

Contents

1. Identify Shared Interests, Goals and Opinons

Many say that the first message you send is crucial - like it's the cover of a book; people will judge you by it whether you like it or not. And with this logic they would encourage you to stop sending 'hi', 'hello' or 'how are you' as a starter.

And sure, I agree to a certain extent. Of course those words or sentences by themselves are boring and we all have heard those a million times before. However, with the practical aspect of online dating apps - where putting your soul into every starting message without knowing if they even still have the app installed - is going beyond whats expected of you, if you ask me.

I would rather say that the first 5-10 messages are crucial. They usually pick the pace of the whole conversion and that's where you can truly show ur awesome intentions and what makes you interested and interesting.

Comment on something in their profile that caught your eye, ask a fun or unusual question, or even throw in a light-hearted joke. Mentally make a list of all the things that you might have in common, no matter how big or small - and then ask or comment about it. There are no real rights and wrong here - but the goal is to create a warm feeling of "you and me, we have something in common here".

Differences of opinons and goals can also be good discussion for sure! But they are better left until a few messages down the chat.

2. Personalize Your Messages

Avoid preparing too much and robotically sending the same messages and/or questions to everyone; it can easily shine through the cracks as lazy and disingenuous.

Instead, take the time to personalize your messages. Reference something from their profile, whether it's a hobby, a travel destination, or even a favorite book. Showing that you’ve actually read their profile not only makes you stand out, but it also demonstrates that you're genuinely interested in getting to know them.

Think of it this way: if you're at a party and someone starts talking to you about your favorite movie, wouldn’t you be more inclined to continue or even take over the whole conversation?

3. Be Genuine and Authentic

Authenticity is attractive. While it might be tempting to present a polished version of yourself, it’s more important to be genuine. Share a bit about who you are, what you enjoy, and what you're looking for.

Of course, you don’t need to reveal your deepest secrets right away (save that for date number two, maybe), but being honest about your intentions can help establish trust and build a solid foundation for a potential relationship. Remember, you're looking to connect with someone who likes you for who you are, not for who you think they want you to be.

4. Keep the Conversation Balanced

A good conversation is like a game of tennis – it should go back and forth, with both parties equally involved. Try to ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more about themselves. But don’t turn it into an interrogation! Share your own thoughts and experiences too.

This balance keeps the conversation flowing and prevents it from feeling one-sided. And remember, if they hit the ball into your court, make sure you don’t drop it – respond in a timely manner!

5. Use Humor to Your Advantage

Humor is a fantastic way to connect with someone on a dating app. It lightens the mood and can help break down barriers, making it easier to form a connection. If you can make someone laugh, you’re already halfway there!

However, be mindful of your humor. What you think is hilarious might not be the same for them. Start with light, universally accepted jokes, and once you gauge their sense of humor, you can dive into more specific or playful banter. A simple, "I’m not great at pick-up lines, but if you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber," could go a long way in making someone smile.

6. Be Patient and Respectful

Patience is key when it comes to online dating. Not everyone will respond right away, and that’s okay. People have lives outside of the dating app (shocking, I know!), so give them time to reply. Also, respect their boundaries. If someone isn’t ready to share certain details or move the conversation forward quickly, don’t push them. A little patience and respect can go a long way in building a meaningful connection.

7. Know When to Move Off the App

While the app is a great place to start, at some point, you’ll want to take the conversation off the dating app and to a more personal social media or even into the real world. Timing is everything here. If the conversation is flowing and you feel a connection, suggest moving to a different platform like whatsapp, texting or instagram. However, don’t rush it.

When it comes to changing mediums, make sure both parties are comfortable before taking this step. When the time feels right, you can say something like, "I’m really enjoying our conversation, would you be open to continuing it somewhere else like whatsapp?" It’s a subtle way to indicate your interest to move forward while also respecting their comfort level.

8. Be Ready for Rejection

Not every connection will pan out, and that’s perfectly normal. Rejection is part of the process, and it's important to handle it with grace. If someone doesn’t respond or isn’t interested, don’t take it personally. There are plenty of other matches out there, and each interaction brings you one step closer to finding someone who’s truly compatible with you. Plus, it gives you a chance to refine your approach for the next conversation. So, dust yourself off, and get ready to swipe again.

9. Have Fun with It!

At the end of the day, dating apps should be fun. Yes, you’re there to potentially find a connection, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the process. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Embrace the weird, the funny, and the unexpected. Whether it’s bonding over your mutual love of cheesy movies or sharing your most embarrassing karaoke story, these moments of light-heartedness can turn an ordinary conversation into something memorable.

10. Know When to Walk Away

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a connection just isn’t happening. And that’s okay. It’s important to recognize when it’s time to move on. If the conversation feels forced, one-sided, or if the other person isn’t putting in any effort, it might be best to cut your losses and focus on finding someone who’s equally interested in getting to know you. It’s better to walk away than to waste time and energy on a dead-end conversation.

Conclusion

Navigating the world of dating apps can feel like a rollercoaster – full of highs, lows, and unexpected twists. But with the right approach, it can also be incredibly rewarding. By starting with a strong opening conversation, finding common ground, personalizing your messages, and staying genuine, you increase your chances of making a meaningful connection.

Humor and patience go a long way in fostering a positive interaction, while knowing when to move on can save you from frustration. Remember, the goal is to have fun and find someone who appreciates you for who you are. So, keep swiping, stay positive, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Who knows? Your next match could be the start of something amazing.